THE NEW JOURNEY

 EMBRACING CHANGE

REBUILD LIFE AFTER DIVORCE

Divorce marks the start of a new journey rather than the end. It's a challenging path with various individuals around—some genuinely supportive, others vexing or simply seeking gossip. Some may pretend support but have different motives, while a few might overlook your needs. Forget those distractions; this is your life, take charge. Surround yourself with a positive support system, embrace change, and prioritize your happiness above all.

The process of divorce is often as agonizing as the struggles within the relationship. It's crucial to grant yourself the necessary time to heal. Remember, it's not about showcasing how well you can thrive without your partner—it's about your personal journey. Seeking support, whether through counseling or taking a trip, is pivotal in settling into this new phase. You might initially feel like you're back at square one, but now, you have all those years ahead of you. Use this opportunity to shape them according to the dreams and aspirations you may have set aside. Explore every avenue to achieve the goals you once left behind.

Well someone once told me, we do not live in the jungle, but in a society full of people with different opinion. Surround yourself with a supportive circle of friends and family who genuinely uplift you. Yet, there will always be those who aim to resurrect your pain for their own comfort, those who repeatedly seek your story merely to display insincere sympathy, and those who offer hindsight advice that may make you question your choices. Remember, if the relationship troubled you, choosing to part ways was the right decision. While not everyone in society may be open-minded, it's essential to explain your situation to those who might not understand. Don't let societal expectations hinder your enjoyment of life—forge new connections, attend family gatherings, and don't be afraid to be your authentic self. The more confidently you carry yourself, the less likely people are to judge you unfairly. Share your experiences, educate others about your journey, and enlighten them on what lessons to draw from it.

Just because one relationship ended doesn't imply you're incapable of finding a successful one—your perfect partner might still be out there. Don't shut the doors to new relationships. Instead, use this experience to clearly understand what you don't want. Be open about your past—there's no need to conceal what you've been through. It's also understandable to struggle with embracing a new relationship—the fear of disappointment, the worry of history repeating itself, or questioning someone's genuine intentions might overwhelm you. Engage in open discussions with the new person, address your concerns, reevaluate, and only proceed when you're certain. If you're not inclined to marry, that's your prerogative, but don't isolate yourself.

To sum up, divorce marks the closure of a chapter, not the conclusion of your story. It's an opportunity for self-discovery, growth, and a chance to redefine your path. While it's natural to feel apprehensive about new relationships or life changes, remember that your past doesn't dictate your future. Embrace the freedom to shape your life according to your aspirations. Share your experiences, educate others, and most importantly, be kind to yourself throughout this transformative journey. Keep the faith in new beginnings, for they hold the promise of a brighter and more empowered future ahead.

MARRIAGES

 MARRIAGES

 THE JOURNEY BEYOND FANTASIES.

What truly holds more excitement, the entrance into married life or the grand entrance to a wedding ceremony? A perfect wedding doesn't guarantee a perfect marriage. Do partners mirror their ideal personas portrayed in media? Are in-laws always dramatic, cruel, or cunning? Let's transition from fantasy to reality and shift our focus to life beyond the wedding day.

Marriages signify more than the blending of families; they involve sharing responsibilities, offering support, making commitments, and numerous intricacies, starting from the initial wedding preparations. Delve into every aspect of the occasion, explore cultural variations in rituals, and highlight the ceremony's significance, especially if it diverges. Assume no prior knowledge of each other's customs, stressing the importance of meticulous preparation to avoid unintentional misunderstandings.

In many relationships, there's a common trend: individuals often expect their partners to mirror an outstanding figure within their social circle or family. Public personas don't always mirror one's true self. The most precious gift isn't material; it's devoted time, care, and support. While material gifts symbolize love, they're not its sole expression. Reference to fairy tales reflects personal expectations about married life—a significant adjustment for both partners and families merging. Social media's "perfect family" standards are often unattainable. Beyond the wedding, envision the path for your shared life. Share individual visions, embrace adaptations, and acknowledge imperfections.

Life seldom unfolds as expected, leading to natural disappointments. Yet, leveraging each other's strengths, fostering individual growth, and evolving together are crucial elements for navigating life's journey as a team, not competitors. Not all aspects within a marriage are tolerable. Seeking support is crucial; some challenges can't be resolved solely by the couple. Prioritizing mental well-being over ego and societal norms is imperative. If unresolved issues persist despite discussions, a decision benefiting both parties becomes pivotal. Moreover, open communication and building trust form foundational pillars in a marriage. Address the need for healthy conflict resolution strategies, emphasizing compromise, empathy, and finding common ground. Highlight the role of mutual support in fostering individual aspirations, encouraging personal development, and evolving together as a couple.

Additionally, discuss the importance of aligning shared values and goals, setting joint aspirations, supporting each other's ambitions, and celebrating achievements together. Touch upon the significance of emotional and physical intimacy in marriages and how it contributes to a deeper connection and understanding between partners. Lastly, stress the importance of adaptability and flexibility in navigating life's changes and challenges. Illustrate how couples can embrace flexibility, adapt to evolving circumstances, and grow stronger together.

Marriages encompass diversity of facets beyond the initial allure of a wedding, culminating in an intricate fabric woven with communication, trust, shared aspirations, mutual support, intimacy, adaptability, and resilience—a testament to enduring love and companionship. It is a journey that defies expectation reveals layers of understanding and unspoken connections. When “I” becomes “US”, be ready to face unforeseen plots and to show unwavering bond that turns life into a greatest collaborative masterpiece.

Unbroken

 UNBROKEN

MY FATHER’S JOURNEY OVER ADVERSITIES.

Life often presents us with a beautiful yet unpredictable journey, filled with moments that test our resolve and shape our character. It’s the story of one who, through unwavering determination and a profound acceptance of life’s twists, turn challenges into triumph. 

6th may 2017, my mother gets a call from an unknown number; it’s my father on the other side. He tells her, I’ve been run over by the train, both my legs are crushed, my mother brushes it off as a joke, but then she understands the seriousness. I could see her shiver and sweat, but what held us strong was the way our father was calm and determined that there will be a new way for him to overcome this. Though he was in a lot of pain, my father had managed to call a few of his friends and family who could be of great help. My mother and uncles left towards Bangalore as soon as they could, by the time my cousin and my father’s friends in Bangalore had managed to reach him with help. Ambulance could not reach him, but the Para medics somehow managed to reach him with a stretcher, I remember my father explaining how they had to scoop his legs on to it and he was removing and throwing the stones struck to them. He was given first aid in a government hospital, but his higher officials had decided to shift him to Hosmat hospital Bangalore, where he immediately underwent bilateral below knee amputation. I can’t forget my mother telling us how the doctors had explained them the extent of seriousness of the situation and the potential fatality, their heart used to skip a beat every time the speakers announced for an attendee. My father being a very socially engaged person, I still remember how one small request for blood, the whole hospital was flooded with his friends and colleagues for donation. My mother joyfully calls the next day, explaining how the doctors had explained the procedure went uneventfully and weaning off of anesthesia would take hours, but my dad woke up with in 2 hrs with completely normal vitals. Two days later, skin grafting was done to give the legs a cleaner finish. In the mean time we greatly appreciate the efforts of our cousin to gather all available information about prosthesis. It was a week later me and my sister were permitted to visit him, the next day he was home.

The journey of adapting to his new condition was not easy, to forget the old reflexes, muscle memory, took a hard time, the worst enemy to overcome were the phantom- legs . Extensive physiotherapy was of great help. Two months later, we approached Otto-bock for the prosthesis, who had already met us during the hospital stay and explained us about what, when and how to reach them next. My parents stayed at a friend’s house nearby and my father’s measurements were taken, the legs were ready and underwent Intensive training for a month. The day they returned, it was a joy to watch him walk normally, no one could differentiate his gait. With everyday self training he started to jog, run and in a few days we purchased a car modified it and he started driving it too. By September, he started going back to work.

Amidst all this, there was this hunger to do something else, which made him join rifle and pistol shooting. Luckily we found MDRA (Mysore District Rifle Shooting Association) very close to our house. Within few initial months of training, he won his first ever medal in national level event at Hubli, Karnataka, for 10mts Air rifle shooting in January. He then shifted to pistol. Till date he has won 18 medals, most of them gold. He is the eldest shooter of India.

Recognizing him, he was invited to share his journey by Ted-X Gokulam, Mysore. He said in it, Acceptance and belief are the two unambiguous words in life. There cannot be “I cannot” in anybody’s life, it is just the will power, determination and hard work that helps one gain anything they desire. He goes on small treks, climbs hills, comfortable in different terrains. Though he is 58, his perseverance is commendable.

Every day when I see my father up early, exercise, commutes to office, comes back and practices daily, it also motivates us to envision on a grand scale. If there is dedication, hard work, all it needs is acceptance of the situation and modifying life in a way our weakness becomes our strength. Even with adversities, one can find strength to move on. Believe that there are limitless possibilities lying ahead. Undetermined mind set becomes canvas for new beginnings, personal growth and profound realization that every moment is an opportunity to thrive.

Remember, resilience isn’t just about bouncing back; it’s about forging ahead, stronger and wiser, despite life’s trials. It’s in the persistence to chase dreams, the courage to face setbacks, and the grace to embrace change.